Discovering myself...

I have made many discoveries about myself recently and one of the most interesting was the fact i am apparently part Fae.  This comes as little surprise as back in the village i was wearing a cast iron collar and my feelings, strength and emotions were much weaker than normal.  It had taken me quite some time to regain what i lost after replacing my collar with a mesh & steel mix. I wondered at the time what had been going on, my judgements were so much weaker & sometimes i felt as though i were being swallowed into some black hole. My vampire blood links paid to reason for me to feel that way, they had never had any effect on my well being in the past, but yet since discovering the Fae blood in me i have begun to notice things about myself that i never payed much attention to before.

I have always been small in height and size, even though a fully grown adult i have childlike features, my limbs are slim, my hands are small...i have always looked upon my taller sisters with admiration and almost envy...their long slim limbs and toned bodies, they look graceful and beautiful whereas i have always remained so tiny and elf like with my short body and soft rounded hips. My Eye colours change depending on my mood...when i am in love they shine bright blue, when i am feeling lust, they fade to a dark and glossy brown and when i am contented and happy, they are a mixture of hazel and green...by far my prettiest eyes. Connected? i'm not quite so sure but sure something odd i notice about myself.

In many ways my human side has over ridden my Fae side, yes i can be mischievous & naughty, but i'm not often the prompter but the prompted, my tricks can be taken to far and i do have an extremely curious nature, i always want to know what's going on, i will dig for information, i will walk that path that no one else wants to go, i will venture just that bit further over the cliffs...but my strong human instincts always prevent me from getting into too much trouble.

My love of extremes has been my downfall on many occasions, i either love you fiercely or hate you with passion, i'm unforgiving and can be cold, i don't believe in second chances & i certainly never ever do things by halves...its either one way or the other...

My inability to be able to lie. Did you know that Fae cannot lie?

I was always curious about the rowan trees on my homeland and how when i walk through them, the branches seem to sway away from me, even on a day where there is no wind...i had planted the trees to help Tia with her creativity and writing...but i don't think they liked me very much...

I would like to think that i'm not wicked.

I had sat by the water on Friday, the day after i had shifted back into human form, My master had told me he doesn't like my Fae form, which was hurtful because it was something new i had discovered & i was trying to get used to it...but this day i had sat by the water, my heart was heavy after being hurt by someone i thought was a special friend...and i began to feel it more than ever, like a whispering in the trees, their movements changing, almost making branch motions towards me, a gust of wind from the ocean has blown towards me and lifted my hair right up so it was flapping around above my head, whipping my cheeks and neck.  I looked around, squinting my eyes, i ran my hands down the back of my neck, pulling my hair down and lifting my knees under my chin...something was changing.
 The whispering continued for a long time, the waves lapped close to my feet on the shoreline. I heard child's laughter that chilled my bones and i covered my face, my hair once again whipping up furiously...and as sudden as it started, it stopped...the whispering faded and everything was calm...

She sat before me, perched on the stone. I looked at her curiously and she looked back, her tiny green eyes meeting mine. Her skin was pale. she wore a silver slip about her body, her legs were long, her toes pointed... her hair was blonde and say delicately around her face.  We looked at each other for the longest time, my hands placed carefully on my knees, not wanting this beautiful creature to vanish.
As suddenly as i had spotted her, her wings all of a sudden fluttered, making my jump, she zipped towards me and appeared directly before my eyes, her small chest in front of my nose...her eyes blinked, she giggles and says one word in a soft and childlike voice,
'Changeling'
And then she was gone.